I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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