walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
you never un-have a 4some
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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