Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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