a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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