its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
