i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
