Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
