He kissed a someone with a penis
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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