My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
