If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
