That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
