Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
