Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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