I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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