you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
