We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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