Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
