the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
