I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
