he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
