I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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