I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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