I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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