Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
