Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
