Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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