Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you win again, gameday.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
