come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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