Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Randomize
