finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so much tequila, so little girl.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
