It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
