And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
