I am puke
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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