Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
