Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
