my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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