OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I want her autograph on my taint
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize