Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
