this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
