drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
