forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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