You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
