when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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