he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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