Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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