is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
