Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
