bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
