I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
