i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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