I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize