Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
